You do need to do the work towards your healing process!
Having been through my my own healing process, I found these suggestions below extremely helpful, as I wish and hope they will be for you
Here are some tips for keeping healthy alternatives to despair easily at hand:
1. Get a list of friends who are further along in their grieving and recovery than you are. Put their numbers on speed dial in your phone. You need people who understand your loss, and you need several. No one person can be available to you all the time, and no one person will be able to help every time. Make sure your list is diverse enough that you'll be able to find the support you need 24-7.
2. Get to class! It's time to learn new things and broaden your interests. This can be a life line. You might find your interest is now in spiritual topics, art or exercise.
3. Speaking of exercise, there are few pastimes that are cheaper, easier and more spirit lifting than going for a walk. It is a proven fact that the body releases endorphins when you move. Endorphins help you feel less pain and less stress. Get moving!
Adapting to a new life gracefully means learning the steps of a new, challenging dance. Forward, forward, backward, backward: It's all part of the flow.
If you have experienced the awe and wonder of a connection through a medium, its now time to cultivate that communication on your own.
The most pervasive issue I see with people who have suffered a loss is the lack of knowledge about how a loved one in Spirit can and will communicate with us. I found out after loosing Jason, the only thing that came even close to comforting me was seeing a medium. I just wanted a medium to give me that stunning validation, rather than working to learn how to accomplish this on my own.. But when you rely upon an outside source for your validations, you're missing the beauty of a loving connection that is always available to us all.
The very best thing newly bereaved people can do is to educate themselves. (Hense the list of organizations and books and such that I have read and found extremely helpful.) We all hold a great fear to the unknown, I have personally felt this with my sight (or lack of) before I was gifted with Ukie I had to use the "white" cane to get around with. People had no idea of how much I could see, but people would go way out of there way to avoid going anywhere near me because they had very little knowledge of being blind or how to react to a person who is blind, so they literally avoided being anywhere near me. They would rather run across the road to the other side then have to deal with me.
We all fear death because we can not see it, touch it, or taste it we all fear it, due to our lack of knowledge about it.
So I started educating myself in the area of communicating with my son. This meant reading books and attending group events with many mediums to see differences in how the information is received and interpreted. It's also tremendously helpful if you take up a spiritual practice of awareness, such as meditation. When your mind is quiet, the signal from your loved ones tends to be stronger.
I have also learned that our loved ones who have passed, may not come through every time you try to contact them. But understand that they're around you-and the messages I've gotten from them, without exception, have been loving and kind. They want us to know that they can see us, they love us, and they are there to support us. And that you can begin to recognize the signs from them as you acquire more information about how your connection with them works-at your own rate, without any hype from television shows or the "I'm scared of ghosts" drama.
One of the questions I often find myself asking is, "How can I tell if my loved one is around me?" The truth is, it is possible for the average person to tap into this knowledge, but it's a very subtle thing, and there aren't many resources you can access for reliable information. Yet one thing is for certain: watching TV will not help. A few years ago popular TV shows led everyone to believe a medium could literally SEE and HEAR the dead. You know, like we'd have a straight up conversation with a ghost. (And that the dead could be stuck in spiritual limbo and need to be rescued, I might add.) Now everyone thinks a medium will jump unsuspecting grocery store shoppers and make them cry. Again, not very realistic. It makes for an entertaining show, but it's far from the reality of spiritual connection.
The easiest way to make a connection with a loved one is by just letting it happen........ naturally. When a Soul doesn't occupy a physical body, they use the energy of thought to communicate. The very first clue you will get when a loved one is connecting with you is a sudden flood of thoughts about them. This most often happens when you least expect it and your mind is busy with another task. It's like being at work on a random Tuesday, with a calculator out, balancing the budget. Then, BOOM! Out of nowhere, you start thinking of your loved one who passed away.
We've all had the experience of randomly thinking of someone right before they call us, and answering the phone with, "Hey! I was just thinking about you! Weird!" That's how this Spirit communication thing works, too!
Our tendency is to dismiss the thought, and return to the task at hand. Yet when we do that, we are likely missing the opportunity to connect more fully with our loved ones. If it seems impossible that it could be that simple, keep in mind, there really are very few Big Bang-type signs from a loved one who has passed. But connection and communication can happen daily if you are willing to accept that most of the communication comes in softly, with no drama; floating on the energy of a thought
Validating the Connection — Now that you are able to recognize those moments when you suddenly become flooded with thoughts of a loved one as the beginning of a spiritual connection, you are going to want to validate that it's really happening. Almost everyone feels a little bit crazy wondering, "Is this real?" when they learn how to connect on the energetic level of mental telepathy.
To validate the presence of a loved one's Soul in a particular moment, you can rely upon your physical sensations. We have all been sensing and feeling energy our entire lives, and perhaps you have never paused to give it much thought. Think of a time when you visited a place like the Alamo in Texas, or Alcatraz prison in San Francisco. Both of these old jails hold lots of energy, and many people report getting a particular feeling while there. Examples would be having goosebumps, or the "heebie jeebies" or the hair on the back of your neck standing up. Our bodies, in particular our largest organ, the skin, react to energy and create a physical sensation that we can definitely and easily feel. Along the same lines, we can visit a beautiful, sacred space like the Sistine Chapel and feel a profound sense of peace or relaxation while we are there. Now, no one is giving you a shoulder massage or actually touching you, yet, the feeling is very real.
Try to think about the times you step in a room just after someone has had a fight, "The air was so thick you could cut it with a knife!" Having a fight can create a huge mass of angry energy, and yes, many people can feel that once it's over! The ancient practice of smudging, or clearing the energy of a space by burning sage, is often used at times like this to spiritually purify an area. I like to smudge my home after a big party, illness or any other disturbance to set the energy back to clear and clean. Sometimes I think the intention is just as good as the actual act of burning sage. It really is about the intention. You can also do it by lighting a candle and offering a prayer or ringing a bell.
Giving some thought and words to the way you sense and perceive energy on an everyday basis will help you feel the energy of your loved one.,which can be a very validating comfort to you.
Here is a list of some of the feelings I get when Jason steps into a room with me.
•"I had a warmth flood over me."
•"I got the chills!"
•"I could feel someone gently touch my cheek or shoulder."
It's going to be a little different for everyone. My suggestion is this: the next time you become suddenly flooded with thoughts of a loved one, close your eyes and tune in to your body to see if you can validate their presence with you by feeling their Soul energy. If you get really good at this, you may begin to notice that your deceased loved ones all "feel" slightly different to you. We are all unique in our energetic make-up. You can even practice this theory with the living. Often, I can sense what person is entering the room way before they speak. You should do a blind test, and try to guess which family member is standing behind you, you'll get it right. Try it at your next holiday gathering.
Here are specific actions you can take that will provide comfort as your journey towards healing
- Read books on spirituality and afterlife communication.
- Attend spiritual seminars or go see a medium work in a live demonstration.
- Join a group that is specific to your loss. I found The Compassionate Friends website :www.tcfmanchester.org/ to be extremely helpful. It is a group who have experienced the passing of a child. The Alliance of Hope for Suicide Survivors provides understanding and support for those seeking light after such a tragic loss.
Here are some books that I highly recommend you read:
- Terri Daniels/ A Swan in Heaven, Embracing Death, Turning the Corner on grief Street
- Ragan Lyn: Signs from the Afterlife, Identifying gifts from the other side
- Kagan, Annie: The Afterlife of Billy Fingers
- Anthony, Mark: Never Letting Go
- Blair, Pamela: I wasn't ready to Say Good Bye
- Burpo, Todd: Heaven Is for Real
Even I who knows of the real connection we have with our loved ones on the other side still miss Jason: You will still miss your loved one. But all is not lost with their passing. They--their consciousness, their essential being --is alive, well and ready to communicate. You just need to learn and have the willingness to believe that what you think may be a sign from them, is just that. It's all that simple! Trust your instincts--and your healing will come.
Stay the course my friends, one step at a time, even when it's two steps forward, one step back. A sense of peace comes to those who carry on.(Most of the info found here was gathered and used from a Medium: Mollie Morning Star. From her website our loved one MollieMorningstar.com